Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Hard Times for this Housewife

Hi friends,

I wanted to say thank you
all for your sweet comments, stopping by and saying hi and letting me know you're thinking of me. It means a lot, so thank you.

I experienced a miscarriage in March and as such have not been blogging. Caleb and I found out in mid- February that we were going to be expecting our first child, and while that was very exciting news, it wasn't too long after we found out I was pregnant that I started having concerning signs. I experienced what is referred to as a "threatened miscarriage" for two weeks until the miscarriage proper started and lasted for about five days. It was a long, hard, painful, emotionally and physically draining experience. I then had about two weeks of lightheadedness and neausea as the hormones left my body, soI am just now finally starting to feel totally normal physically. Of course emotionally there are still days when I struggle, and I know the heartache won't just disappear overnight.

So, as such I have really been just doing the bare-bones housekeeping, making sure things are cleaned up and clean clothes for our backs, but I've not had the energy, mental or physical, for much beyond that. In addition, and I share all of this as I would ask your prayers, I am having a hard time finding any joy in my homemaking post this experience. I've wanted children for many years now, and have longed to be a stay at home mom and homemaker, and I think losing this child has drained a lot of the joy I was building in my heart about being a keeper at home. I am totally at peace with knowing that my little one is in heaven with the Lord, but as for me, and the life I am still leading here, I sometmes feel a bit lost and confused through all of this.

Thank you, dear online sisters
for always being an encouragement and inspiration for me about being the best homemaker I can be. I know in time I will return to my excitement about this God-ordained role, but for now I covet your prayers, and apologize for my absense on your blogs and my own.

God bless you all and I'll be back sooner rather than later, I do hope. :)


Tara said...

Oh sweetie!!! You can definitely count on our prayers. I had been wondering what was keeping you from updating the blog. I know that God is watching over you and Caleb during this time and that he has a devine plan for the both of you.

all my love and support,


sunshine said...

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. My heart definatly goes out to you.
I will keep you in my prayers!
Take care!!

Walking on Sunshine... said...

I am so sorry for your loss!!! And yes it is a loss and you have every right to experience all the feelings you are right now. I suffered a miscarriage in between my children and it almost devastated me until I was able to get pregnant with Michael! I kept telling myself what a blessing he was because if I had never suffered the miscarriage I never would have conceived him!!! And he truly is a blessing to me. I pray the Lord will bless you and Caleb with more children and you can look back on this time and realize that God was carrying you through all your heartache!! I will be praying for you!!!!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

I am so sorry about this. I will certainly add you to my prayer list and be lifting you daily. I can't say I know what you are feeling, but I can imagine it has been hard.

You are loved and thought about!


Erin said...

I am so sorry for your loss. We'll be here when you're ready to visit again. You're in our prayers.

Lianne said...

Oh, honey! I am so sorry! I was just thinking of you yesterday. I wondered what you had been up to since it had been so long since I'd heard from you.

My heart is aching for you tonight. It's so hard to understand why things like this happen, but God understands. I pray that He is keeping His comforting hand upon you and your husband and that He will use this experience to draw you closer to Him and closer to each other.

You are in my heart and in my prayers, Nicole!

Anonymous said...

Love you Nicole, and praying for you throughout the moments of each day.

Thank you for honestly sharing where you are at so that I can pray with knowledge for you and Caleb.

Love Mom Mueller

Molly said...

You have been on my heart lately and am glad to now know why. I am praying for you Nicole!

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

You do NOT need to apologize for being MIA online. As much as weall enjoy bogging and having our clothesline conversations on the computer, we realize that "real" life, and "real" concerns take precedence over sitting in front of a computer. Though you wouldn't know it given the amount of time many of us spend sitting in front of ours ;0)

Praying for you daily and hoping that the joy of the Lord will be your strength and song ans you lean on Him and your husnband during this challenging time.

sunshine said...

Just thought I'd pop in and let you know that I'm thinking of and praying for you and Caleb.

Anonymous said...

hey nycce bo bicky it your sis, i just wanted to tell you i love you and im sorry i havent called, cant really make excuses i should. But its not because i dont want to talk so if you feel like talking give me a ring. We love you lots and lots and i hope every day gets a little bit better!
love, ashley, ron, and devon

Lianne said...

Just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking about you and Caleb. I hope you are doing well.

Angela said...


Walking on Sunshine... said...

Just wanted to stop by and see if you're okay! Been thinking about you!!

OhLookADuck said...

Nicole, I've been away from blogging for a while and thought I'd check in and catch up. I'm so sorry you've gone through some rough times!

I had three miscarriages *after* I had a promise from God that He'd give me more children. Those miscarriages really tried to shake my trust, even though I knew God was sovereign. After the third miscarriage I went on to have my son, then two years later another son, and two years after that I had my twins. Miscarriages are hard, there's no doubt about it, but I'm praying your grief will be swallowed up soon in the joy of many children.